Letting Go to Let in the Light
June 20, 2011
In this season of increasing light in the Northern Hemisphere when the summer Solstice is approaching and the days are at their longest, so we look now at the illumination of the sunlight on the truth of our lives as we truly experience them. We are going to be looking at what we hold onto- how we struggle between holding on, and sometimes, letting go our overwhelming schedules, lives, preoccupations, in order to allow a space for hearing our own voices, creating the opportunity to really experience ourselves, the world around us, to reclaim that sense of wonder we were born with when our senses were alive. Remember when we did not yet know the world had expectations of us, and all was awe and wonder and discovering our senses, and the things around us and the mystery of relationships? Remember back to when our imaginations could take shape in the space we were allowed play, and dreaming?
I am beginning this journey in the following sharings, as I explore with you how we are bound- by daily routines, by expectations from all around us, and most difficultly, those expectations within us that are automatic that are bound up with judgements, conscious or not. I am not simply talking about what is our true sense of responsibility that keeps us in a sense of wholeness with the world and with ourselves, although when these thoughts fill every waking and dreaming space in our lives they too can leave us little room for growing, for wonder, for peace.
I am talking about filling every moment with activity, with duty, with talk, with every imaginable occupation, so that, even though each one of these things may have value, there is no space in which we may hear our own voice. For so many reasons we fill our days and nights, sometimes with a sense of conscious or unconscious desperation not to experienice that space. that is something that I wish to share with you my readers., and to invite your to share with me and with each other. In our world of busyness, and great technonological advance, we begin our days with work, then errands with or for others, home and tasks to follow, checking e-mails, text messages, phone calls, then answering them, then some television late at night which is an attempt to settle down, and we fall asleep only to be awakened to an alarm and the sound of the TV that never was turned off. The day begins again. A weekend may follow, which is filled with many things, many enjoyable. But whether that which we fill our lives with is called work or play, it may be used to keep us from feeling the pain or fear of that space which long ago we as children began to experience as too difficult. In those open spaces we re-experience our sense of aloneness, and anxiety, and emptiness. This is not to call an;y of what we do to fill those spaces without merit, without benefit to us or to others. Rather, there are so many “shoulds” that come from around us and within us, that are held onto because we fear those empty spaces in our experience. I have struggled with this and know so many who have. There has been a refusal to let go of overwhelming scheduling, activity or preoccupation that has at its root the goal of creating a sense of wholeness and calm. Yet in this attempt, and keeping the pace we do, it in fact prevents us from hearing the voice within it that truly may be soothed, the spirit that cries our for recognition of the needs it once had and still has, the inner fear that will not let our solitary voice be heard by us, lest it seem too lonely, lest we feel too empty. Yet it is this protective intent that keeps us from hearing that child within us that may be truly soothed – that being that is still feeling awe at being alive, that creative person that has not yet discovered what he or she is capable of, what he or she can explore, enjoy. In these spaces that we may allow ourselves to experienced, we may truly see the candle we light, the song we play, feel the air around us, and see the wonder that is the color blue in the sky or the sea. REcently I was engaged in a wonderful organization in a program that demanded, in order for it to be experienced completely a great deal of time and psychic energy. There was so much that mattered to me before this began, that I had committed to. There was so much I yearned to explore within my own creative reach as an artist, a psychotherapist, a spiritual leader, a singer, a writer that I had promised. There was and is so much I want to bring to you all on this website, and within its blog. I did not want to give up anything at all, not at all. Many voices came to bear, as I struggled, and realized that here in an intense version was what I had created my whole life- a world without the space to hear the voice within. Not at all times of course, yet the pull was always there. I could not be, because of this program, off that phone or my e-mail hardly at all. I struggled for weeks, and the voices of loving and well-intentioned people said, “how could I go- I would be running away.” Yet at this side of the struggle I said, painfully and with a sense of loss, “no.” This was a word hardly ever in my vocabulary. It was as though literally I was holding the hands of the people who wanted me to stay, touching their fingers, holding on at the last, and then, I let go.. I had never learned to let go as a child, for I as with so many was not encouraged to do so and was not assured that if I ventured forth into the world I could be trusted with my own judgement, and that I would be loved for sure if I forged my own unique way. There was fear in my home, and discord, and love as well for which i am grateful. But I was always very much afraid, and told that while I had the talent, thinking of myself was “selfish.” I did not want to think only of myself- indeed, I wanted to be a contributing part of community, as I believe we all really do- to be there for others. So overhwhelming was this in fact that I became an adult who wavered between being wholly involved with the needs of others and withdrawing- to get a sense of rest and wholeness I did not know how to ask for.
In the days to come, there will be stories and experiences shared, ideas explored, and resources and tools for the journey I invite you all on- a journey through whatever stands in the way of your making the peaceful space wherein lies your true tranquility, your true vision for making it an ongoing part of your life. I am discovering that past that fear, that terror of aloneness, that anxiety over loss of others, with support and understanding as your own journey is gone through lies a quiet, a place where you can reclaim your own true spirit, and be truly serene as you share in love and authenticity with others the wonder of who you really are and embrace them and all of life and what it holds for you.
291 Responses to “Letting Go to Let in the Light”
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The Obama Administration proposed a revision of Constellation this season to focus on the development of the ability for crewed missions beyond low earth orbit (LEO), envisioning extending the operation of the ISS beyond 2020, transferring the introduction of launch vehicles for human crews from NASA towards the private sector, and developing technology make it possible for missions to beyond LEO, including Earth/Moon L1, the Moon, Earth/Sun L2, near-earth asteroids, and Phobos or Mars orbit. As of March 2011, the usa Senate and House of Representatives remain working towards a compromise NASA funding bill, which will probably terminate Constellation and fund development of a heavy lift launch vehicle (HLLV).
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